As a parent, you not only want to provide for your children while they’re young, but you’d also like to leave them something after you’re gone. Of course, such good intentions are usually tempered by thoughts of your grown children turning into spoiled “rich kids” who can’t hold a responsible job or take care of themselves without your help.

Obviously, parents walk a fine line when it comes to leaving their children an inheritance and potentially keeping them dependent for the rest of their life. So how do you know when to say enough is enough? And how can you be sure what you leave your kids won't prevent them from ever standing on their own two feet?

You’ve been told that creating an inheritance takes planning, but planning involves more than just amassing and sheltering wealth and deciding how it will be passed on. It requires training your children at a very young age about “the value of a dollar.” That old cliché is one of the keys to successfully passing on the money you have worked so hard to acquire. One of the best ways to teach your children about managing money is by your own good example. If they see you spending money wisely, saving and giving to charity, they will remember those lessons and emulate those actions when they’re older.

The next key to a successful inheritance strategy is to give while you are still alive. There are a couple of good reasons for this action. First, it provides you with an opportunity to learn how your children manage money. Second, it provides a financial benefit for your heirs because it lessens the amount of your estate, which in turn lowers any potential estate tax.

The third key to remember when considering inheritances is to communicate your wishes while you are alive. Be sure your children understand how your estate will be divided and the reasons for your actions. This will eliminate a lot of problems down the road. If your children are financially well off, you may decide to leave the bulk of your estate to a worthy charity. Explaining this to your children before you die will prevent the shock of learning this at the reading of your will. Likewise, if one child has a larger financial need than another due to chronic illness, a debilitating injury or mental incompetence, then you will probably want to make sure they are provided for throughout their lifetime. This may mean your other children will inherit little or none of your estate. Again explaining this while you are alive will allow for a smoother transition after your passing.

Fourthly, use estate planning tools, such as trusts, when developing your inheritance strategy. It will help you control when children inherit money and under what circumstances. This is especially important if you want to ensure a child accomplishes a goal such as graduating from college.

Finally, it is important that you find a competent financial planner to assist you in creating your inheritance strategy. Your advisor will be able to discuss with your children the financial issues at stake. They can also answer questions regarding how these issues affect them personally. By conducting a meeting with your heirs before you die, a financial planner will be able to eliminate much of the anxiety your children may have concerning the terms of your will.

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