The biggest arguments a family can participate in are usually centered on money. Many of these arguments occur at the passing of a shared relative, after which the inheritance is distributed. To ensure that such an argument does not take place at the distribution of your estate, there are a few concepts to consider:

· Plan early and completely. A complete estate plan can be created with your attorney, financial advisor, and the executor of your will. If your heirs are left to decide for themselves who is entitled to what, a huge family fight is inevitable. Your estate plan should be well organized and all encompassing. This includes considering creating an itemized inventory of all your belongings, and after discussing with your heirs, determining which of your belongings will go to whom. You could also plan to include a letter of instruction with your will, which specifies this information. This can ensure that a valuable heirloom is not lost, and fights over possessions can be avoided.

· Keep heirs informed. By withholding information about inheritance, you could end up surprising your heirs, and not necessarily in a good way. Without speaking to them first and listening to their feedback, you may risk a battle between your heirs upon your death, when your wishes are revealed.

· Be fair, but not necessarily equal. This is especially important when leaving an undividable asset, such as a family business, house or car. With a family business, if at least one of the heirs is involved in the business and would want to continue it after your death, you could still provide fair endowments to your other heirs. Insurance proceeds, liquid assets, or even stock in the business itself could give ample proceeds to the rest of the heirs, and, although the assets may not be worth as much as the business, they are a reasonably fair amount.

There may be other reasons to distribute your estate unequally. If one of your heirs is financially secure, while the other, although hardworking, still struggles or has more dependents, it may make more sense for the struggling heir to receive more. If one child has spent time caring for you, or has special financial needs like paying for lifetime care for a disabled dependent, this would also be grounds on which to distribute the funds unevenly.

· Never disinherit an heir. If, as a result of a disagreement, a parent writes a child out of a will or feels that the heir would not appropriately use the funds (i.e. an alcoholic or drug user, or a poor manager of money), the parent would be generating a great deal of animosity between the excluded heir and all others. You could require that the child be a certain age before becoming entitled to the funds, or that they graduate college first. By removing an heir from the will, you will not only create bad feelings towards those still in the will, but also towards your memory.

· Understand the emotional effects of inheritance. Sometimes an heir is not prepared for the inheritance, especially if it is a large one. They could feel that they were not truly entitled to it, or that they had not earned it fairly. Discussing these matters ahead of time will certainly help your heirs to be better prepared, and ease a great deal of anxiety when the event comes. You can also recommend that they speak with a financial advisor.

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